The Chosen Union
For the couple who has chosen, not fallen —
who arrives with intention, who says yes from the fullness of who they are.
A ceremony unlike anything else I offer. Not a legal marriage. Not a commitment ceremony. Something rarer than either — and more personal than most couples thought was possible.
To be chosen
is not to be needed.
Need is hunger.
Need consumes.
To be chosen
is to be seen —
in the morning,
in the difficult,
in the year you lost yourself
and had to be found again —
and to have someone say,
without flinching:
Yes. Still you. Especially you.
Most people who find their way to the Chosen Union tell me the same thing: they had been carrying the idea of this ceremony for years without knowing it existed. They knew what they wanted. They just didn’t know it had a name.
After 25 years performing ceremonies across the Bay Area, I created the Chosen Union for the couples who fell outside every existing category — and who deserved something written specifically for them.
What It Is. What It Isn’t.
The Chosen Union asks something different of the people standing in it. It doesn’t ask you to follow a prescribed form. It asks you to arrive honestly, to speak truthfully, and to offer something real — to each other, and to whatever witnesses you choose to invite. Or to no one at all. This ceremony can be held in complete privacy, just the two of you, with no audience and no performance for anyone but each other.
You were not found by accident.
You were arrived at.
Slowly, and then suddenly,
the way the tide arrives —
having always been on its way.
Who This Ceremony Is For
There is no single profile for a Chosen Union couple. What they share is not a circumstance — it’s a quality of attention. They have thought carefully about what they are building together, and they want that intention honored in a ceremony that meets them where they actually are.
Long-term partners
Together for years, deeply committed, no interest in legal marriage — and ready to mark what they have built with something that takes it seriously.
Couples beginning with intention
Early in their relationship, choosing to begin with shared principles rather than waiting until a wedding to speak them aloud.
Partners seeking a spiritual ceremony
Looking for ceremony that is meaningful and grounded — without religious framework and separate from legal process.
Those for whom no other category fits
Two people whose devotion doesn’t fit neatly into any existing form — who need a ceremony written from the ground up for exactly who they are.
What Happens in This Ceremony
The Chosen Union I’ve written creates a particular kind of space. One where the language slows you down. Where you feel the weight of what you’re saying before you say it. Where a single moment — something that happens with almost no words at all — changes the quality of everything that follows.
There are five qualities woven through the ceremony that give it its shape. Not as a checklist. Not as vows to recite and move on from. As the living texture of what two people are actually committing to build — and return to, and practice, and renew in every ordinary season that follows. Couples who have stood in this ceremony tell me they still reach for those five qualities years later. That’s not an accident.
Each partner is asked to speak — before any intention is exchanged — from their own truth. Not a rehearsed line. Not a response. Their own reason for being there. What they mean to bring. What they are choosing. Those words are offered and received, whether by a room or by no one but each other. That moment alone changes the whole tenor of what follows.
✦ A note on privacy
The Chosen Union can be held entirely in private — just the two of you, no witnesses, no guests. It can also be shared with the people who matter most, who are asked to show up as something more than observers. The ceremony is designed to work beautifully either way. That choice belongs entirely to you.
The ceremony closes in whatever way is most true to the couple. There is no single prescribed ending. What it asks is that the closing come from what is genuinely felt — not what is expected.
This Is a Collaboration, Not a Template
I don’t offer the Chosen Union as a script you download. Every ceremony I perform is shaped around the specific people standing in it — their language, the particular quality of what they are choosing, the life they are building together.
What I bring is the ceremony I’ve written, the experience of 25 years performing ceremonies across the Bay Area, and the willingness to shape what I’ve created around what is uniquely yours.
If you’re drawn to this — if you’ve been searching for something that sounds like this and couldn’t find it — the right first step is a conversation. Call me. Tell me what you’re imagining. I’ll tell you what’s possible.
Ready to Talk About Your Chosen Union?
This is one of my favorite conversations to have. There’s nothing quite like it. Call or text me and we’ll find out together if this is the right ceremony for you.
📞 Call or Text 415-302-0444